Stunts & Skits - Play III
Useful Links
A list of useful stunts & skits linksThe Sleep Walker
You will need three scouts or male scout leaders
and one girl scout or lady leader. You can do this with adults
or youngsters, but do not mix adults and youngsters.
The scene is that three boys are chatting in a group when
from the side of the stage, a young lady walks on, hands in
front of her, sleep walking. She walks up to the first boy,
takes off his tie and walks off taking his his tie with her.
1st boy " Hey she's pinched my tie."
2nd boy " It's dangerous to wake sleep walkers, don't
worry she'll bring it back when she wakes up."
The girl walks back and takes the second boys jacket, she
walks off carrying it with her.
2nd boy "Hey she's pinched my jacket."
3rd boy "It's dangerous to wake sleep walkers, don't
worry she'll bring it back, when she wakes up."
The girl walks back still sleep walking, grabs the 3rd boy
by the arm and walks off with him.
3rd boy "It's dangerous to wake sleep walkers, but don't
worry she'll bring me back when she wakes up."
The Lighthouse.
Cast: 1 narrator
3-6 Scouts for the lighthouse walls
3-6 leaders, counselors, kitchen staff, etc., number to equal
the Scouts and will be 'recruited' during the skit
1 flashlight, or 2 if using 5-6 Scouts
Scouts stand in a circle, facing out, feet spread 2' - 3'
apart but touching feet of Scouts on each side. The flashlight
is held at eye level and is passed around the circle. Scouts
stand tall and hold the beacon's beam steady.
Narrator: "Many years ago the people of a seaside village
built a lighthouse to warn approaching ships of a dangerous
shoal near their harbor. It's beacon could be seen for miles,
even in fog and storms. For many decades, the lighthouse stood
firm and give safe passage to all who sailed by the village.
But as the years went by, the villagers grew old and so did
the lighthouse. The villagers could no longer make repairs,
the ocean's waves wore away the foundation, the lighthouse
started to sag and failed at its duty."
The Scouts now stoop, heads lean to the side and bend their
knees slightly; the light 'travels' a zig-zag path around.
Narrator: "When the schooners and square riggers started
to go aground on the shoals, the old villagers knew they had
to call in experienced people to help with their problem.
People whowere pillars in their own communities and who were
solid as a rock."
Recruit your favorite 'I'm gonna get you now' people and instruct
them to go down on their hands an knees and into the walls.
Leaders are facing in with their derrieres out, and are straddled
by the Scouts who again stand tall and give a steady light.
Narrator: "Now with these new rocks placed into the foundation,
the lighthouse once again shines a bright beacon and stands
firm in the stormy surf to withstand the pounding of the waves."
Scouts drop the flashlight and then hand paddle the leaders.
Sarge And The Private
Sarge and private walking.
Private: "I want to rest!"
Sarge: "No! we have to finish this hike keep going!"
Private: "But my feet hurt" etc. (Whining.)
Here you can be creative, add a few more excuses...
Sarge: "Absolutely NOT!!!"
Private: "Ill cry..."
Sarge: "Go ahead!"
Private: "WaaaaaaHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!"
Here Sarge gives in and they rest. Next the private wants
to stop and ' take a wee' (you can always use the "Weeee!"
when the Sarge finally gives in after the same Rigamarole.
and next a drink, and finally food. But this is only a day
hike so there is no food. After more tears, the sarge finds
a worm and the private will only eat it (on the threat of
more tears) if the sarge eats half. Of course when he finally
does, the private starts bawling again and screams
Private: "You ate my half."
Reggie and the Colonel
Characters: Reggie, big, dumb, Bermudas, high
socks, safari hat, glasses, down on nose, moustache, carries
gun in front of him. Colonel:short, limp, monocle, no gun,
just small knapsack, has cane.
Scene: Walking in place through darkest Africa, speaking pronounced
in an English accent.
Colonel: (excited, jumping and pointing with cane) Reggie,
look... Did you see it, Reggie ??????
Reggie: See what??! No, no, where, where ??
Colonel: Oh, Reggie, It was a beautiful condor, 8 foot wing
span, beautiful colors.
Reggie: No. I didn't see it.
Colonel: Wish You'd pay closer attention. (They continue walking).
Colonel: Did you see it, Reggie?
Reggie: No, what?
Colonel: A spotted Zebra...Wish you'd pay closer attention.
Colonel: (later) Did you see it, Reggie?? Did you see it?
Reggie: No I missed it ... what was it?
Colonel: An ooh-aah bird.
Reggie: Ooh-aah bird. What's a ooh aah bird??
Colonel: An ooh-aah bird is a 2 pound bird that lays a 3 pound
egg, like this: Ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh-aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
(face lights up). (continue walking).
Reggie: Whispers to audience: Next time I'll say yes - pretend
like I saw it. I'll fool him.
Colonel: Reggie, Reggie did you see it! (excited)
Reggie: I saw it, I saw it!
Colonel: Then why in heaven's name did you step in it? !!!
We're Going On Safari
This is an action chant, which can be performed
by as many scouts as you wish. It can be made into something
really good, by dressing up in safari gear and carrying rifles.
1st scout: We're going on safari.
ALL: We're going on safari.
1st scout: We're gonna catch a big one.
ALL: We're gonna catch a big one.
1st scout: Ooh look a snake.
ALL: Ooh look a snake.
1st scout: Hiss, hiss.
ALL: Hiss, hiss.
2nd scout: We're going on safari.
ALL: We're going on safari.
2nd scout: We're gonna catch a big one.
ALL: We're gonna catch a big one.
2nd scout : Ooh look a crocodile.
ALL: Ooh look a crocodile.
2nd scout: Snap, snap.
ALL: Snap, snap.
1st scout: Hiss, hiss.
ALL: Hiss, hiss.
3rd scout:We're going on safari.
ALL: We're going on safari.
3rd scout:We're gonna catch a big one.
ALL: We're gonna catch a big one.
3rd scout:Ooh look a panther.
ALL: Ooh look a panther.
3rd scout:Poof, poof.
ALL: POOF, POOF.......Why on Earth poof poof?
3rd scout:Well, he was pink!
2nd scout: Snap, snap.
ALL: Snap, snap.
1st scout: Hiss, hiss.
ALL: Hiss, hiss.
AND SO ON.
To finish you can have someone dressed in a gorilla suit.
The last scout starts to sing ooh look a gorilla, then all
the others see the gorilla as he comes on stage and chases
them all off screaming.
Push-Button Radio
Scene: One person is pushing buttons (thus changing
stations) on a push button radio. Offstage, five people read
the parts below. The following radio programs are mixed up
with hilarious effects -- a talk on Cub Scouting, a prize
fight, a soap opera, a political speech, and a commercial
on conflakes.
NOTE: Since this skit requires quite a bit of reading, it
will be best for 10-12 Year olds, scouts or adults to perform.
Rehearse at least twice. The first and last part of the lines
are the most important. The second reader should begin immediately
after the first reader finishes, etc. This is one time the
actors should be instructed not to wait for laughs.
CUB SCOUT: Good evening, friends! Tonight, I am going to tell
you about Cub Scouting. Cub Scouting is a home-centered program
for boys, their leaders, their families and...
POLITICAL (passionately): ...scoundrels in high places! I
say to you, we must send to Congress men and women of integrity
who will stand up to temptation and say...
SOAP OPERA (with feeling): ...let me hold you in my arms,
darling! Yes, sweet, come close... closer still... and let
me put my strong arms around you, and then...
FIGHT (fast stoccato): ...a hard looping right to the stomach!
Wow! Whatta fight this is, folks! Murphy swings a left to
the jaw, a right to the head, a left, a right, another right,
and the Butcher goes down. He drops straight back on his...
COMMERCIAL (loud and brassy): ...large, economy-size package.
Yes, friends, ask your grocer today for this big, family-size
box of Chlorophyll's Crummier Cornflakes... the only cornflakes
with the built-in crumb! Once you have tasted Chlorophyll's,
you'll say...
POLITICAL: ...how in the world can they do it? How can these
men, these elected servants for the people, put politics before
principle in such a brazen and outrageous effort to advance
their own selfish cause? There is only one thing that will
put a stop to their selfishness. I mean none other than...
CUB SCOUT: ...a group of overworked cub leaders. The answer
to this, of course, is to select assistant cub leaders who
can help out where needed. When you ask someone to be a cub
leader, just walk right up and say...
SOAP OPERA: ...take your hands off me! Don't come near me!
I cannot stand you... do you hear? I hate you...
CUB SCOUT: ...in this way, of course, a person is more likely
to say "yes". And then there is only one thing to
watch out for...
FIGHT:...another hard right to the stomach! Now the Butcher
is moving in, and Murphy's looking bad... very bad. He has
a cut on his forehead and his left eye's swelling fast. In
fact, he reminds me of...
COMMERCIAL: ...a soggy bowl of leftover cornflakes. So accept
no substitutes! Always choose Chlorophyll's cornflakes for
the crumminess you love to crunch. Start your day with a big
bowl full of Chlorophyll's swimming in heavy cream and covered
with strawberries... and a large
heaping of...
POLITICAL: ...crooked politicians! Yes, my friends, I repeat
to you again and again that dishonesty in government, whether
local, state, or national, is a shame and a disgrace to our
fair land. There is only one thing we can do about it. Only
one thing will save our proud and mighty nation...
CUB SCOUT: ...four full sixes in every pack! More boys in
your pack means more boys to enjoy the fun and benefits of
Cub Scouting, as well as more families to share in the leadership.
With a full pack, a Cubmaster can look the cub leaders in
the face and say...
SOAP OPERA: ...Kiss me, you fool! All I ever expected from
you was...
FIGHT:...A hard right to the stomach! And I can see what's
coming now...
COMMERCIAL: ...another bowl of soggy, leftover cornflakes.
So remember, always use Chlorophyll's...
POLITICAL: ...because they're poison... yes, poison. The best
solution to political dishonesty is...
CUB SCOUT: ...more and better Cub Scouting everywhere! (Curtain)
Measurement Problem
(Two Scouts come on stage carrying
a long pole. They prop it up, then stand back and look at
it.)
Scout 1: Now, there
are several ways we can figure out the height of this pole.
How do you want to start? (The Scouts
unsuccessfully try various methods of estimation to calculate
the height of the pole. The conversation goes something
like....)
Scout 1: According
to my calculations, that pole is about 2 m high.
Scout 2: There's no
way. It has got to be shorter than that. Just look at it.
(This kind of exchange repeats several times as the Scouts
obviously become more and more exasperated. A Cub strolls
onto the stage.)
Cub: Hi!
(he watches a bit)
What are you guys trying to do?
Scout 2: We're trying
to measure the exact height of this pole.
Scout 1: We haven't
had too much luck, yet, but we'll get it.
Cub: Why don"t
you just lay the pole on the ground and measure its lengthl
Scout 1: (scornfully) Cubs!
Scout 2: I'11 say.
(To the Cub) Didn't you hear right? We want to know how tall the pole is -
not how long it is!
(This is a unique skit that
involves a series ofwalk-ons that must be closely arranged
with the Campfire Leader. Each walk-on would come perhaps,
between songs, BUT NEVER to upstage a skit that is about
to, or has just been put on.)
PROPS: Briefcase,
flashlight, (O.K. to use as a prop), a small ladder, and
a banana peel.
WALK-ON 1:
LAWYER: [enters carrying briefcase]
LEADER: Hey, you with
the case! Where do you think you're going?
LAWYER: [strides in, holding up case]
I'm taking my case to court! [strides through and out]
WALK-ON #2: (Later)
LAWYER: [enters with case and flashlight]
LEADER: Alright, where
are you going now?
LAWYER: [waving flashlight]
I'm taking my case to night court! [strides through and out]
WALK-ON #3. (Later)
LAWYER: [enters with case and ladder]
LEADER: It's you again!
Where are you going with that ladder?
LAWYER: Now I'm taking
my case to a higher court! [strides
out]
WALK-ON #4 (Later)
LAWYER: [enters with case and banana peel]
LEADER: [angrily] I've
had it with you walking through here. Now, this is it! Where
are you going?
LAWYER: I'm going
to the court of last aPEELs! [strides
out]
WALKON #5 (Last time)
LAWYER: [wanders in with no props, looking all around]
LEADER: What's up
nowl What are you looking forl
LAWYER: I lost my
case. [trudges out]
Gotta Go wee
(The boys are seated in two
rows, as in a school bus, with one at the front as the driver.)
TOMMY: [running to front]
Stop the bus, I gotta go wee!
DRIVER: [making driving motions] I
can't stop here. You can hang on, go on back and sit down.
[Tommy sits down, driver makes driving sounds]
TOMMY: [a few moments later, runs to fiont] Driver,
you gotta stop the bus. I gotta go wee.
DRIVER; It's only
a little while to your stop. Hang on a little longer and
we'll be there.
[Tommy sits down, bus continues]
TOMMY: [moments later, running to front] I
gotta go wee. I gotta go wee. Stop the bus.
DRIVER: [braking, stopping, opening the door] OK,
OK, out you go!
TOMMY: [exits, runs in circle] Wheeeeee!
Enlarging Machine
(This skit is best set up in
the opening of the campfire circle so that no one can see
what is happening "backstage".)
PROPS: A
blanket (or on stage a large piece of cardboard on which
is drawn a machine, with a flap in the fkont), a tea spoon
and a ladle, a tin mug and a pot.
(Two boys hold up the blanket behind which is the largest
boy, who is also the machine operator.)
CIRCUS BARKER: Alright,
step right up and see the world's only enlarging machine!
For one small dime, one tenth of a dollar, you can try the
eighth wonder of the world.
FIRST BOY: [shows everybody his tea spoon]
I'I1 give it a try mister. [puts imaginary coin into pocket of hoy holding blanket and cranks his
arm]
OPERATOR: [clanking, whirring sounds, throws ladle out]
BARKER: There you
are folks, one tiny spoon in, one big spoon out! Who's next?
SECOND BOY: [shows tin mug] Me
mister. I'II try it. [puts in imaginary
coin, cranks arm]
OPERATOR: [clanking, whirring sounds, throws pot out]
BARKER: Isn't that
the marvel of the world. One tiny mug in, one big mug out.
Step right up now, who's next?
THIRD BOY: [runs up, puts in dime, cranks arm, and jump
in]
OPERATOR: [clanking, whirring sounds, and jumps out]
(Note from orignal source: "We discourage the ending
where someone spits into the machine, receiving a mug of
water in the face, because spitting is a most un-Scout like
action.")
Emergency Skit
This Skit should be learned
by all Cubs and Scouts in the event that they find themselves
called on unexpectedly for a skit (Be Prepared), or in case
some other Six or Patrol used their planned skit earlier
in the same Campfire.
[The first boy enters and begins crying] [The second boy
enters and walks up to the first]
#2: What's wrong?
[#I whispers into #2's ear, and both start cryingl
#3 [entering] Hey,
what's wrong guys?
1:#2 whispers into #3's ear, and all start cryingl
(This continues until the entire Six or Patrol, but one,
are in and crying)
LAST BOY: [entering, and loudly]OH
FOR GOODNESS SAKE, WHAT'S WRONG?
THE GROUP:
THEY STOLE OUR SKIT!
- or WE DON'T HAVE A SKIT! depending on the situation.
Echo #1 (Baloney)
(Before the skit begins, one
player hides a few feet away and plays the part of the ECHO.)
[PETER AND TIM enter]
PETER: Here we are,
Tim, at the famous Echo Mountain. Why don't you give it
a try?
TIM: Sure, might as
well. [raises his voice] Hello!
ECHO:Helloooo.
PETER: That's fantastic!
I'm gonna try it. [raises voice] Hi
there.
ECHO:Hi there ....
(ROBIN and CARRY enter]
ROBIN: Hi, what are
you guys up to?
TIM: We're trying
out famous echo mountain. Shout something and hear it come
back.
CARRY.
OK, here I go. [raises voice] Baloney.
[Pause, waiting for ECHO, which does not come back]
ROBIN: Hmmm, it's
not working. Let me try. [raises voice]
Scouter John's a great guy!
ECHO:Baloney! [All
exit quickly)
Echo #2 (Jerk)
(Before the skit begins, one
player hides a few feet into the woods behind the campfire
circle, and plays the part of the ECHO.)
SCOUT: Boy, it's been
a tough day at camp. But now I've hiked up to the famous
Echo Mountain, might as well give it a try. [raises
voice] Testing ...
1 ... 2 ... 3 ...
ECHO:Testing
SCOUT: I'm a Boy Scout
and I'm trained to live in the woods, [raises voice] right!
ECHO:Right
SCOUT: And when it's
my turn to cook, if I mess up the stew the rest of the guys
can lump it, [raises voice]
correct!
ECHO:Correct!
SCOUT: And I'll tell
that to Scouter too, [raises voice] check!
ECHO:Check!
SCOUT: [turning to hike away, in an arrogant tone ofvoice]
No one's gonna push
me around and treat me like a JERK.
ECHO:JERK! [Scout
does a double take and exits]
Can't Pay the Rent
(In this skit, one person plays
all three parts by changing the voice and by using a paper
napkin as a mustache, hair bow, and bow tie, as the parts
call for.)
VILLAIN. [sound effect] Knock,
knock, knock.
GIRL: [very timid high pitched voice] Who
is there?
VILLAIN: [fiercely)I've
come for my rent!
GIRL: [in despair]
I can't pay the rent! I can't pay the rent!
VILLAIN. [forcefirlly) You
will pay the rent or I will throw you out into the cold.
GIRL: [Looking around] OH,
here comes my hero! Help, help, help.
HERO: [nobly) Unhand
her you cad!
VILLAIN. I have a
right to my rent.
HERO: I have the money
from her father's will herel Now leave and do not return!
GIRL: my hero, my
hero! ..
VILLAIN: [as he slinks off]
Curses, foiled again!
All In a Days Work
PROPS: A
sign reading: "Undertaker, Justice of the Peace, Furniture,
Fresh Eggs", some overalls, straw hats, bandannas.
ANNO:
Here we see old Clem Smithers sittin' in front of his country
store and funeral parlour.
JOSH: [strolling in, thumbs in suspenders] Good
Morning Mr. Smithers. I'm Josh Martin.
CLEM: Howdy hub, call
me Clem.
JOSH: So, you're an
undertaker?
CLEM: Yep.
JOSH: Lived here all
your life?
CLEM: Not yet I ain't.
JOSH: Do people die
here often?
CLEM: Nope .... only
once, Need an undertaker?
JOSH: Oh, no. They
tell me you sell cement here.
CLEM: Yep.
JOSH: I need two bags.
CLEM: What kind?
JOSH: Don't know ..
St. MaIys I guess,
CLEM: Good as it comes...
what you gonna use if fer?
JOSH: Some new steps
out by my cement pond.
CLEM: Yep, yep ...
How many steps?
JOSH: Oh,'bout six.
CLEM: How wide?
JOSH:'bout four feet.
At the Movies
Director, cameraman, clapper
board man, a couple of lighting men (with flashlights) and
mother are on stage as action begins. Son, doctor and undertaker
wait in wings.
Director: Lights,
Camera, Action!
Clapper Board Man: Scene
One, Take One!
(The actors play the scene without the least sign of emotion
as lighting people follow and cameraman films. Mother is'
flipping pancakes at the stove when son walks in.)
Son: Mom, I don't
feel too well. (He collapses.)
Mom: (Goes over, looks at son.)
Oh, I'd better call the doctor. (Moves to phone, dials making click, click sounds.) Doctor,
come quick. My son's collapsed.
Doctor: (Enters, checks pulse and breathing.) He's
dead. I'd better call the undertaker. (Goes
to phone, dials making dialling sounds like Mom did.) Undertaker, you'd better come. I have a dead body here.
Undertaker: (Enters and begins to measure the body.)
Director: (Jumps up) Cut!
Cut! That was terrible. You had no emotion at ALL. Let's
do it again. This time, give me more emotion!
Cast: (Exiting) Right. More emotion.
Director: Lights,
Camera, Action!
Clapper Board Man: Scene
One, Take Two!
(The actors re-do the scene, using exactly the same words,
but with great hammy histrionics. Mother weeps uncontrollably
throughout, son dies very dramatically, etc. At the same
point as in Take One, the director yells, "Cut! Cut!
")
Director: That was
better, but too fast. Let's try again. This time, slow it
down. Lights, Camera, Action!
Clapper Board Man: Scene
One, Take Three?
(The actors re-do the scene in slow motion - talking slowly,
moving slowly. For example, when the telephone is dialled,
it goes "click... click.. click", and after the
doctor checks the son's pulse, the son's hand falls slowly
back to the floor, etc. The director yells, "Cut!"
in the usual place.)
Director: That was
far too slow. One more time. Let's speed it up
(This time, the actors do the scene so quickly that the
son throws himself to the ground, the doctor is there before
Mom can hang up, and so on.)
Director (at the same place): Cut!
That was absolutely terrible! Actors? Do you call yourself
actors?
Cast: Actors? Who said anything about actors? We're the
cleaners! (All pick up brooms and exit.)
Alexander's Rag Time Band
PROPS: Coloured strips of cloth for each participant,
spears and shields if desired.
ANNO: In this skit, ALEXANDER THE GREAT has called all his
officers together to plan the next days battle when they will
make the big attack on Russia.
ALEX: Now men, the key to tomorrow's attack will be coordination.
Each of you Generals will need to have your men begin the
attack at the same moment.
GENERAL #1: How can we do that great leader? We will be so
far apart we can't see each other and clocks haven't been
invented yet?
ALEX: [very wisely] I've commanded my chief scientist to solve
the problem. It was either do it or loose his head. Mortimer,
get in here, now!
MORTIMER: [bumbling in] I'm here master! I've done it, I've
done it! I've invented TIME! Here, everybody [passes out cloths]
tie this red rag around your wrist. I've dipped it in a new
miracle chemical I invented in my tent. When it's time to
start the battle they will all turn blue. [Alexander and Generals
tie band on wrist]
ALEX: That's wonderfUl Mortimer. What do you call your new
invention?
MORTLMER: Oh, ALEXANDER'S RAG TIME BAND!
Doctor! Doctor!
The secret to success with
this series of quickies is to keep them moving along. You
can have one doctor and different patients, but it may add
greater rush and flurry if a different doctor and patient
fly in and out for each quickie.
Pat: Doctor! Doctor!
I feel like a set of drapes.
Doc: Pull yourself
together!
Pat: Doctor!
Doctor! Am I going to die?
Doc: That's the last
thing you'll do.
Pat: Doctor!
Doctor! Everyone keeps ignoring me.
Doc: Next!
Pat: Doctor!
Doctor! My back feels like a deck of cards!
Doc: I'll deal with
you later.
Pat: Doctor!
Doctor! What's wrong with me?
Doc: Have you had
this before?
Pat: Yes.
Doc: Well, you've
got it again!
Doc: You'll
live to be 80.
Pat: I am 80.
Doc: See!
Pat:Doctor!
Doctor! I've got insomnia.
Doc: Don't lose any
sleep over it!
Pat:
Doctor! Doctor! My friend's doctor told him he had appendicitis
and, two weeks later, my friend died of heart failure.
Doc: Don't worry. If I tell you you've got appendicitis, you'll
die from appendicitis!