Stunts & Skits - Play II
Useful Links
A list of useful stunts & skits linksLetters from Home
Props:
Two sheets of paper.
Scott: (Enters)Gee,
it's always nice to get a letter from home when you're at
camp.
Robin: (Enters) Hey,
look, I got a letter from my Mom.
Scott: Me too. Listen,
my Mom says she's writing this letter slowly, because she
knows I can't read fast.
Robin: Mine says I won't
know the house when I come home. They've moved !
Scott:Oh, my Dad has
a new job with 500 men under him. He's cutting the grass at
the cemetery.
Robin: Our neighbours
started keeping pigs. Mom got wind of it this morning.
Scott:Oh, my goodness.
My little brother came home from school crying because all
the other boys had new clothes and we can't afford any for
him. Mom says she got him a new hat and lets him stand in
the window.
Robin: There was a washing
machine in the new house. But my Mom put four shirts in it,
pulled the handle and they disappeared. Guess it doesn't work
right.
Scott:My Mom had her
appendix out and a dishwasher put in. And, oh, my sister had
a baby this morning. Mom doesn't know if I'm an Aunt or and
Uncle, because she doesn't know yet if it's a boy or a girl.
Robin: Oh, dear, there's
a P.S. It says, I was going to send you $ 10.00, but I had
already sealed the envelope.
Scott:Well, it's nice
to know things are normal at home.
Robin: Yep.
(Both exit)
(With this skit it is possible to put each boy's script on
a sheet of paper, and they can read it out, as though they
were reading the letter. They should rehearse, of course,
to make it sound natural.)
Lunch Break
Props: Lunch
bags or pails.
Announcer:
We see here a construction site. It is now lunch time, and
two friends are about to eat.
Worker 1: (Opens lunch bag and looks very disgusted)Yechhhh
!! Egg salad sandwiches again !
Worker 2: Look, if you
hate them that bad, I'll swap with you. (Both pretend to eat, then exit.)
Announcer:
The next day.
Worker 1: (Enters with Worker 2, opens lunch bag and looks
very disgusted)Yechhhh
!!! Egg salad sandwiches again !
Worker 2: O.K... I'll
trade with you again. (Both pretend
to eat, then exit.)
Announcer:
The next day.
Worker 1: (Enters with Worker 2, opens lunch bag and looks
very disgusted)Yechhh
!! Egg salad sandwiches again !
Worker 2: (Angrily) Look,
if you don't like egg salad sandwiches, why don't you ask
your (wife/mom/significant other) to make something else ?
Worker 1: My (wife/mom/significant
other)?? She's got nothing to do with it. I make my own sandwiches
!
New Saw
Announcer:
This scene takes place in a hardware store in a small north
woods lumber town.
Lumberjack: (Enters)My
old crosscut saw is worn out, and I need something that will
let me cut more wood, or I'm going to go broke !
Owner : Yes, sir ! For
only one hundred bucks you can be the proud owner of this
chain saw. I guarantee that it will cut twice as much wood
in a day as your own crosscut.
Lumberjack: (Handing over money)O.K.
great ! (Exits)
Announcer: The
next day.
Lumberjack: (Enters tiredly)There's
something wrong with this saw. I worked very hard yesterday,
and only cut half as much wood.
Owner : Well, sir, I
have a lot of faith in this product. Here, I'll put a new
chain on it and you give it another try.
Lumberjack:O.K., but
if it doesn't do any better, I'll be back ! (Exits)
Announcer:
The next day.
Lumberjack: (Enters exhausted)This
darned saw is no good. I worked even harder, and still it
won't cut half the wood of my old saw ! I want my money back
!
Owner : Yes, sir ! Just
let me check it out here. (Pulls starter
rope)
Announcer: (Makes
sound effects of saw running.)
Lumberjack:Oh, my gosh
! What on earth is all that noise ?
Puppy in the Box
Props:
A cardboard box, and a stuffed dog (or rabbit, etc.)
Announcer: This
scene takes place on the street outside a grocery store.
(Several participants are gathered around outside the store,
chatting.)
Roger : (Enters holding the box)Hi
guys, would you please hold this box for me while I go into
the store ? (Exits)
Martin: I wonder what's
in the box ?
Gerry : I don't know,
but something is leaking out !
Bob : (Rubs finger against the bottom of box, then licks finger)
Hmmm, it tastes like
lemon soda.
Martin: (Also rubs box and tastes finger) No.
I think it's more like chicken soup.
Roger : (Returns, looks in box)Oh,
you naughty puppy !
Fly in the Soup
Customer:Waiter,
waiter, there's a fly in my soup !
Waiter : (Enters, very snooty, peering into the soup) Oh,
yes, you are right sir. That will be an extra 25 cents for
the meat.
Customer: But waiter,
he's swimming all over the top !
Waiter : (Still snooty) You
are right, sir. It doesn't know it's a fly, sir. It's doing
the Butterfly stroke.
Customer:Well, I think
it must be an Australian !
Waiter : Why do you
say that sir ?
Customer:BECAUSE IT'S
DOWN UNDER NOW !
Someone Chanted Evening
Props:
Blankets and rope to make Monk's Cassock.
Friar:Good morning,
everyone.
Monks: Good morning.
Friar:For our Matin,
we are going to practice chanting. All together now, repeat
after me: (Chanting)Morning,
morning, mor-or-ning.
Monks: (Rather raggedly) Morning,
morning, mor-or-ning.
Friar:Not bad, but
we need to get more feeling and rhythm into it. Let's try
again. (A couple more attempts are made,
each one better, then on the third try it sounds excellent,
but one Monk chants loud and clear, "Ev-en-ning".)
Friar:Cut, Cut ! What
was that ?
Brother Daniel: What's
wrong, Friar ? I thought it sounded good.
Friar: (Breaking into song)Someone
Chanted Evening !
St. Peter
Announcer: Here
we see St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
Ian : (Walks up to St. Peter)Hello,
St. Peter. I see I've come to Heaven.
St. Peter: Well, you're
not in yet ! First you've got to tell me how you suffered
on Earth.
Ian :Well, I spent
a week eating camp food.
St. Peter: I'm sorry,
you haven't suffered enough. (Ian exits
dejectedly.)
Doug : (Enters) Hi,
I'm here to get into Heaven.
St. Peter:Fine, fine.
And how have you suffered ?
Doug : I went on a long
hike and got blisters all over my feet.
St. Peter:Sorry. That's
not enough suffering to get into Heaven. (Doug exits)
Brad : (Enters) Can
I get into Heaven ?
St. Peter:How did you
suffer ?
Brad : I'm in
(Pick someone's name who can take a joke)(troop/pack/six/class,
etc.)
St. Peter:Well, come
on in !!
Timothy Eaton
Number of participants: 4
or more
Props:
Articles of clothing
# 2 enters and passes # 1, wearing a hat.
# 1:"Where did
you get the hat ?"
# 2: "Timothy Eaton."
#3 enters and passes # 1 carrying a pair of pants.
# 1:"Where did
you get the new pants ?"
# 3: "Timothy Eaton."
Others enter carrying new articles of clothing and offer similar
explanations. Finally # 4 enters wearing just underwear.
# 1:"Who do you
think you are dressed like that ?"
# 4: "I'm Timothy
Eaton !"
Rowing
Four or more people sneak up behind the speaker
and set chairs down so that "the speaker can't see them."
They then begin to go through the motions of casting a line
and reeling it in. After a while the audience is watching
what the group is doing and then the "speaker" looks
over and asks, "What are you doing?"
"We're fishing!"
is the reply of the fishermen, after which they go back to
their motions and the speaker resumes talking. After a short
time the speaker looks over and says -"But
you can't fish here!"
"Why not?"
asks another fisherman.
"Because there's
no water here!" (speaker)
"Oh, well, they
weren't biting anyway!" (fisherman)
The fishermen then turn their chairs so that they are lined
up in a single line, facing in the same direction. They go
through the motions of putting their gear away, and then,
acting as if they are rowing a boat, slide their chairs backwards
across the stage."
It worked well in a gymnasium and at the hall where we showed
it to the leaders at roundtable. Perhaps the fishermen could
sit on plastic garbage bags, or pieces of plastic sheet such
as that which is used for ground cloths and simply scoot across
the ground when it is time to "row" away.
Also, the speaker could be starting what looks like the introduction
to another skit when the fishermen interrupt his narration.
The Magic Doctor's Chair
Characters required:
1 doctor and four patients.
Props required: two
chairs.
Scene begins with doctor sitting on one of the chairs.
First patient enters twitching their left arm.
DOCTOR:'And what's
wrong with you sir?'
Patient 1: 'As you can
see doctor I have this terrible twitch'
DOCTOR:'Just sit on
my magic chair and you'll get better'
The patient sits on the chair and stops twitching, but the
doctor's left arm starts twitching.
Patient 1: 'Oh thank
you doctor, you cured me'
The patient leaves, the doctor still twitching calls for the
next patient.
DOCTOR:'Next '......
'And what's wrong with you sir?'
This patient has the hiccups. The process of sitting in the
chair is repeated. The doctor now has a twitch and the hiccups.
The third patient is called in, both his legs keep flicking
in the air. The process is again repeated so that the doctor
now has a twitching arm the hiccups and both legs flicking
in the air.
The doctor now calls patient four. This patient looks quite
normal, enters and sits in the magic chair.
DOCTOR:'And what may
I ask is wrong with you sir?'
Patient 4: 'I've got
a terrible case of the trots doctor'
The doctor runs off the stage holding his stomach.
Three Scout Leaders
The scene is that three scout leaders are
sitting around the campfire swapping yarns, after having had
a little too much of the amber nectar to drink.
1st leader:These scouts
today don't know they're born. I can remember the scout hut
that we had. There was a hole in the roof, which let the water
in when it were raining.
2nd leader: A roof with
a hole in it, that were luxury. We had an old tarpaulin sheet
slung over the rafters. Us older lads had to hang onto it
during the meetings, case it blew away in the wind.
3rd leader: Rafters,
now theres a luxury. When I was a scout our hut had no roof
at all, and we kept out the rain with some old bits of sack,
held up with twigs.
1st leader:We couldn't
get twigs. We had to hold the roof up with our bare hands.
Those were the days.
2nd leader: I remember
when us lads used to go to camp. We loaded all our gear onto
an old army truck and drove to the campsite singing songs.
3rd leader: We had no
time for singing. We used to pull all our gear along on an
old cart with wooden wheels. And the wheels used to get bogged
down in the mud.
1st leader:A cart with
wheels, now thats what I call a luxury. We just had an old
cardboard box to put all our camping gear in, and when it
rained all our gear would get soaking wet, and fall into the
mud, but we were happy.
2nd leader: Yes, those
were the days.
3rd leader: We had some
nice tents though, big green six manners.
1st leader:Six manners
, luxury, our tents were so small, you had to sleep sitting
up.
2nd leader: We didn't
have any tents at all in my troop. We used to curl up in a
hole that we'd dug in the ground, but we were happy.
3rd leader: We couldn't
afford a hole in the ground, we used to sleep in a puddle.
1st leader:Yes these
youngsters today don't know they're born, but if you told
them all these things they would never believed you.
The Submarine Captain
A line of submarine officers on a Japanese sub during WWII.
Captain sights a ship in the periscope
CAPTAIN;'Tanker bearing
259, Range 1 mile'
He yells this to the first mate, who in turn tells second
mate, down the line until finally the torpedo operator is
told. The torpedo operator just shrugs his shoulders.
CAPTAIN:'Load main
tube # 1 and stand by to fire.'
He yells this to the first mate, who in turn tells second
mate, down the line until finally the torpedo operator is
told.
TORPEDO OPERATOR: 'I
don't know how.’
Next the captain gives the order to fire down the line, but
the TORPEDO OPERATOR. says "I don’t know How..."
This message is returned up the line to the Captain who SCREAMS.
CAPTAIN :"Press
the red button."
When this message finally gets down to the TORPEDO OPERATOR.
He follows it, but it took too long so they miss the ship.
(More message passing if you want.) Finally after about three
ships (each time the TORPEDO OPERATOR doesn’t remember how
to fire.) The Captain feels disgraced and pulls out a knife
and commits Sepuku (or incorrectly, Hari Keri) Each officer
in turn picks up the knife and follows the Captains example
until at last the knife comes to the Torpedo Officer Who looks
at the knife and says;
TORPEDO OPERATOR: 'I
dont Know How..."
Is It Time Yet?
Line of 5-8 Scouts standing with left foot
crossed over right, right arm crossed over left.
First Scout in line asks:"IS
IT TIME YET?" -
Second Scout asks third, etc down the line.
Last Scout says: "NO"
Word is passed back to the first Scout, one Scout at a time.
After a lonnnnnnnng pause,
First Scout asks:"IS
IT TIME YET?"
It goes down the line as before.
Last Scout says: "NO"
Again and the word is passed back.
Another long pause...............
First Scout asks again:"IS
IT TIME YET?"
etc and,
Last Scout says: "YES"
the answer is passed back. Just after the first Scout gets
the word, they all change to right foot over left and left
arm over right.
Exit groaning
Raisin Skit
1st Scout comes out: Gets down on all fours,
pretenting to be a table.
2nd Scout comes out, looks at the table and declares;
2nd SCOUT:"Ahh,
a fly, I think I'll pull it's wings off"
Proceeds to pick it up, pluck the wings, put it back on the
table, and walks off.
3nd Scout comes out, looks at the fly on the table and says;
3rd SCOUT: "Oh,
a fly with no wings, I think I'll pull it's legs off",
With great precision and animation, picks up the fly, removes
it's legs, and puts it back and walks off.
4rd Scout comes out, looks at the fly and announces;
4th SCOUT: "Say,
a fly with no wings and no legs, I think I'll pull it's head
off."
Then proceeds as the other Scout before him.
Last Scout comes out looks at the table, then carefully inspects
the object with out picking it up and says very quickly
LAST SCOUT: "A
raisin !" and quickly picks it
up and puts it in his mouth
The Nutty Fisherman
Centre stage is a lad fishing from a billy can or bucket,
he keeps pulling the rod as though he has something on the
line. A passer by looks at him as he walks by and then walks
on, after a few steps the passer by comes back to the lad.
Passer by:"What
are you doing there then?"
Fisher: "I'm fishing,
what does it look as though I'm doing?"
Passer by:"Fishing
eh!, what are you fishing for."
Fisher: "I'm fishing
for suckers."
Passer by:"Have
you caught any?"
Fisher: "Yes you're
the third today"
Bee Sting
1st scout"OOOOOUCH
, OOOOOH , OOOUCH."
2nd scout "What's
the matter with you?"
1st scout"A bee's
stung my thumb."
2nd scout "Try
putting some cream on it then."
1st scout"But
the bee will be miles away by this time."
Patience, Jackass, Patience!
You can ham this up a bit, but here's the jist of it.
Two scouts enter (one on all fours if conditions allow) and
move across stage as the skit procedes. One is the mule and
the other is the driver. A narrator stands just offstage.
Narrator:"In the
heat of the Mojave Desert, the mule driver pushes his beast
toward town. The first day. . ."
Mule: "Water, master,
water!"
Driver: "Patience,
Jackass, Patience!"
Narrator:"Still
they drive on relentlessly. The second day. . ."
Mule: "Water, master,
water!"
Driver: "Patience,
Jackass, Patience!"
Narrator:"Without
mercy, they push to their goal. The third day. . ."
Mule: "Water, master,
water!"
Driver: "Patience,
Jackass, Patience!"
Narrator:"Still
far from town, they go on. The fifth day. . ."
Voice offstage: "What
happened to the fourth day?"
Driver: "Patience,
Jackass, Patience!"
Camp Coffee Sketch
You need a large dixie or billy in the centre
of the stage and four scouts. In England we have nesting sets
of aluminium cooking pots with a steel wire handle. They look
like a small straight sided bucket or paint pot. These are
called Billys or Billycans. We also have larger cast iron
or steel cooking pots usually oval in shape. Most of these
are army surplus and are known as Dixies.
1st scout (Walks to billy carrying his mug. He dips his mug
in and brings it up to his lips for a drink. )
" THIS CAMP COFFEE
IS GETTING WORSE! "
2nd scout (Walks to billy carrying his mug. He dips his mug
in and brings it up to his lips for a drink. )
" THIS CAMP TEA
IS GETTING WORSE! "
3rd scout (Walks to billy carrying his mug. He dips his mug
in and brings it up to his lips for a drink. )
" THIS CAMP CHOCOLATE
IS GETTING WORSE! "
4th scout (Walks to billy, dips his hands in and takes out
a pair of wet socks. As he wrings them out he says. )
"I THOUGHT THAT
WOULD GET THEM CLEAN!"