Lost Penny
Scene: One person acts as a lamp post, shining a flashlight on the ground. Another is groping around in the pool of light. (He's # 1).
A third person enters, sees # 1, and asks: "What are you looking for ?"
# 1: "A penny that I lost".
He joins # 1, and helps him search. A fourth and fifth enter and repeat the above scene.
Finally one of them asks # 1: "Where did you loose the penny ?"
# 1: (Pointing away) "Over there:.
Boy: "Then why are you looking here ?"
# 1: "Because the light is better over here !"
Bell Ringer 1
Props: Coat with football or wadded clothing under it for the Hunchback, hat or nightstick for Gendarme.
Announcer: The Hunchback of Notre Dame has decided to retire, and has placed an ad in the Paris Times for someone to come and learn how to ring the bells.
Effects: (Knock, knock, knock)
Hunchback: (Gravely voice) Oh, somebody must be here about my job. I'll go down and see. (Goes 'round and 'round the campfire, as if going down the bell tower, bent over due to hunch.)
Effects : (Knock, knock, knock)
Hunchback: (Angrily) I'm coming, I'm coming. There's a lot of stairs here. (Arrives at and opens the door.)
Hunchback: Yeah ! What do you want ?
Applicant: I'm here about the bellringer's job.
Hunchback: All right ! Come on up and I'll see if you can do the job. (Begins to go up (the other way around) followed by the applicant.)
Applicant: Boy, the ceiling is not very high here, is it ?
Hunchback: Listen, you go up and down these stairs 20 times a day for 45 years and you just learn to stay bent over. Hey, did you close that door, didn't you ?
Applicant: I don't know. I don't remember.
Hunchback: Well, we gotta go down and keep it locked, can't run up the church's fuel bill. (Both turn around and go back.)
Hunchback: That's the first thing you gotta learn. Keep the door closed. Up and down these stairs, that's the hard part. (Arriving at door) O.K., so now you're here, close the door.
Applicant: (Closes door) How are the benefits in this job ?
Hunchback: (Both going back up) Well, it has it's ups and downs. The Church board will buy you ear plugs every six months and a new bottle of bell polish once a year. (Finally arriving at the bell) Alright, now you stand over there, and I'll show you how it's done. First you grab the bell here and push it out very hard (steps back and follows path of bell out and back) then the bell comes back on it's own. That's all there is to it. Do you think you can do that ?
Applicant: Sure ! (does the action with the bell, but does not step back, is hit by bell and falls back, to the ground)
Hunchback: Oh my gosh ! He's fallen 15 stories to the sidewalk. I'd better get down there. (Goes 'round and 'round until he reaches the ground) (Crowd enters mumbling, stops astonished at body)
Gendarme : (Entering, calls to Hunchback) Hey you ! Do you know this guy ? (Rolls body over with foot)
Hunchback: No, but his face sure rings a bell !
Bell Ringer 2
(The trick with this skit is to do it the night after doing Bell Ringer #1, and to do everything exactly the same - perhaps with a little more 'hamming it up')
(When the Applicant arrives the Hunchback says:)
Hunchback: You look just like the guy who was here yesterday.
Applicant: Oh, that was my twin brother.
(Revert to the original dialog again. The audience will think it's getting a re-run and prepare itself for a 'groaner' of a cheer. When they hear the ending, you'll get a great reaction.)
(Carry on with dialog, except for the last line.)
Hunchback: No, but he's a dead ringer for the guy who was here yesterday !
Bell Ringer 3
(To be used ONLY when Bell Ringer #1 and #2 have been used.)
Props: Rain slickers, blanket, and Gendarme gear from above.
(Two players enter in rain slickers holding blanket between them like a jumping net. They jig and jog around the performing area)
Gendarme : (Entering) Hey, what are you guys doing ?
Fireman #1: Well, the last two nights some guy has jumped out of that bell tower, and we came to catch him !
Cannibals
2 Cannibals mother and child
Loud noise is heard
Child - Oh Mummy, what is that?
Mom - It's all right dear. It's just an airplane.
(looking up)
Child - What is an airplane?
Mom - It's like a lobster, there's an awful lot you have to throw away but the insides are delicious.
Fishing
(The scene opens with the two players rowing an imaginary boat.)
Andrew: Whew! It sure is a long way out here.
Robert: Yep. (puts hand to eyes) I can't see the shore anymore. Ready to start fishing ?
Andrew: I think so. Looks like a good spot to me.
(Both ready imaginary rods, reels, hooks, worms, etc., and start fishing. Immediately they both start to catch fish, recast and catch more. Continue for several casts.)
Andrew: I told you this would be a good spot.
Robert: Sure is, the boat's full. Guess we have our limit. Better get back.
Andrew: O.K. (gets oars ready)
Robert: Did you use a map to get here ?
Andrew: Nope.
Robert: How are we ever gonna find our way back tomorrow ?
Andrew: Oh, that's easy. I'll just mark the spot with a big X right here on the side of the boat ! (makes mark - both row away quickly)
Gathering of Nuts
Vincent: I am the famous artist, Vincent Van Go Go. I have come here this evening at great expense to create one of my living nature paintings which will express the atmosphere of this camp ! First I am going to need some trees. (Two trees are selected from the participants in the audience, and are directed where to stand. They wave their arms gently.)
Vincent: Now I will need some birds to twitter among the trees. (Three birds are selected and they move around the trees making twittering sounds.)
Vincent: (Stands back to view scene) Perhaps a sun to shine on everything. (A tall participant stands on a bench and smiles brightly.)
Vincent: (Again viewing) It's not right yet. I know, some rabbits hopping around. (Assistant Leaders are chosen for rabbits)
Vincent: One last touch. A babbling brook. Scouter, will you be the brook, you're always babbling ? (The brook takes his place.)
Vincent: (Turns to audience) There it is, another Vincent Van Go Go original nature scene. I call it "The Gathering of the Nuts."
Go Cart
(One participant is on hands and knees as the 'Go Cart')
Driver : Oh, this fool Go Cart is always giving me trouble ! Now the front wheel has come off. (Selects member of audience) Would you come over and give me a hand. Thanks. (Selected person may have some comments to respond to - then they are led to the cart.)
Driver : Here, if you would just be the wheel I need. That's right, get down on your hands and knees up there and be the front wheel. Now let me try it again. (Driver gets on car, tries to start it up.)
Go Cart: (Makes sputtering noises, starts, moves forward, then sags and sputters out.)
Driver : Now what is it ? (Driver moves to rear, lifts cart, lets go and cart sags again.)
Driver : Now that old suspension has gone, I need more help. (Selects someone else) Please come over here and be the suspension. That's right, just hold the back end up there. Now I'll try it again. (Gets on car, starts engine.)
Go Cart: (Sputters to life, moves forward, wobbles, and stops)
Driver : (Getting off) Oh, no. Now the rear wheel is loose. I'll go and get more help. (Selects more help) (New help is positioned at rear wheel.)
Driver: This wheel is loose. If you will just hold the wheel (indicates leg) tightly so it doesn't fall off, you'll be a big help. Thanks. (Driver gets on cart, starts engine)
Go Cart: (Starts up, runs fine, moves forward)
Driver : (Braking to halt) Oh, that's perfect now ! All I needed was a few NUTS to get it going !
Good Soup
Props: a large pot, several spoons, and a floor mop. A chef's hat would also be useful.
Announcer: This scene takes place in the camp Dining Hall.
(Several boys are seated around a large pot, sampling the imaginary contents with the spoons.)
Scott : Boy, this is sure good soup.
Brad : Yep, it's got REAL flavour.
David : Sure is, why it's even better than my Mom makes.
Mathew: Oh yeah. It's the best food I've eaten at camp all week.
Cook : (Enters waving floor mop and shouting) Hey you guys ! Get out of my mop water !!!
Rubbish
Scene: 1st scout walks to center of stage and starts talking in a loud voice.
1st scout: "Empty cornflakes packet, banana skin, old tin can, bottle top, sweet wrappers, broken bottle, moldy cheese, milk carton."
2nd scout: (Enters) "Say, what do you think you're doing?"
1st scout: "I'm talking a load of old rubbish."
Smoke Signals
Scene: 2 scouts spot smoke signals in the distance.
1st Scout: "Hey George, look over there, smoke signals"
2nd Scout: "Oh yes Mike, what do they say?"
1st Scout: "Help..........My..........Blanket's..........On.........Fire."
Bicycle Shop
(The scene begins with three players on their hands and knees, in a row, as bicycles.)
Shop Owner: Well, there we are, three brand new bicycles all set up for sale.
Customer : (Entering) Hi. I'd like to buy a bicycle.
Shop Owner: Sure thing. Why don't you try them on for size ?
(Customer sits on the first bike and it falls down. The second is too big, while the third is too small.)
Customer : I sure like the first one, let me try it again.
Shop Owner: Why not ? (Setting up bike again) There you are, it's all set up again. (Customer sits on it, and again it falls down.)
Customer : I don't know. I really like this one but it keeps falling down. I'm afraid it's not made well enough.
Shop Owner: Our bicycles are all very well made. It was just assembled this morning, and it may need a little adjustment. Let me get some help.
(A volunteer is chosen from the audience, who is instructed to hold one 'wheel' of the now upright bicycle.)
Customer : (Sitting on the bike) That's perfect now. What was the problem ?
Shop Owner: Oh, we just need a big nut to hold it together !
Bus
Leader acts as Bus Driver, in a bus full of passengers. Each time the bus stops one or more passengers holding their noses and making a face, while looking at one special passenger. Then exit the bus.
Soon everyone is off the bus except the driver & special passenger.
Driver: Say, you're running all the people off my bus.
Passenger: Well it isn't my fault they can leave if they want.
Driver: Yes, But they seem to detect a peculiar odour about you. Do you bathe regularly?
Passenger: Sure do!
Driver: Do you use deodorant?
Passenger: Sure do!
Driver: Did you wash your feet today?
Passenger: Sure did!
Driver: Did you change your socks?
Passenger: (very irritated) Well, I sure did. (Pulls socks from pocket) And what's more I have my dirty ones here in my pocket to prove it!
Compass
Props: A good compass and a map
Announcer: In this scene, we see a Scoutmaster teaching a Patrol about maps and compass.
Scoutmaster: Now fellows, if you take a bearing from the map this way you can now stand up and, keeping the compass away from your belt buckle, walk along the bearing until you reach your destination. John, you try that.
John : (Does as instructed, exits, re-enters)
Scoutmaster: (Standing) In the same way you can take a bearing on a distant object, and use that to find where you are on the map. Now, each of you take a bearing on that big tree on the hill top.
Other boys : (Do as instructed, passing compass around, making suitable comments.)
Scoutmaster: (After a few moments) All right, let's all gather around. That wraps up tonight's compass lesson. There is just one more important point ! Never, never buy a TATES compass.
Tom : Scouter, why should we never buy a TATES compass ?
Scoutmaster: You know the old saying: "He who has a TATES is lost!"
Dead Body
Scene: One person lying on the ground, dead. Another sees him and runs for the telephone and, panicking, gasps: "Police, there's a dead person here... Where ? .... Un, (looking for a sign), "I'm at Montgomery and Westchester... Spell it ?... Uh, M-o-t-n... Uh, M-o-t-g,," (confused), "Just a minute, I'll drag him over to King and Elm !"
Lawnmower
(One participant is on his hands and knees as the mower.)
Owner : (Yanking imaginary rope, while mower sputters) This darned old mower, I can't get it going. I need some help. (Gets help from another participant.)
Helper #1: So you just want me to yank on this rope, and get it started ? That's easy ! (Yanking rope)
Mower : (Splutters, bobs up and down)
Helper #1: I'm sorry. I can't seem to do it. Have you checked the gas ?
Owner : Yes, I have. Thanks anyway. Well, let's see who else has a strong arm. (Selects another participant) What I need you to do is to give a real good yank on the starting rope and make it run.
Helper #2: Sure thing. (Yanks rope a couple of times.)
Mower : (Bobs up and down, sputters, coughs)
Helper #2: Sorry, I can't do it either.
Owner : What I need is someone big and strong (Selects a Leader) (Leader will probably make some comments, but let him talk and get him to pull the rope)
Mower : (Splutters, coughs, starts to vibrate and run)
Owner : There. All it needed was a good jerk.
Lost Lollipop
(Small boy is sitting, crying)
Passer-by #1: (Enters) What's wrong little boy, why are you crying?
Boy : (Sobbing) I lost my lollipop !
Passer-by #1: Have you looked for it ?
Boy : (Continues to sob) Oh, yes, I've looked under my bed, in my sock drawer, and even in Charlie's pocket.
Passer-by #1: I've heard that chanting often works. You think very hard about the lollipop until you can see it in your mind, and chant 'lollipop' over and over again.
Boy : (Closing eyes tightly) Big red yummy lollipop, big red yummy lollipop, big red yummy lollipop.
Passer-by #1: (Nods approval and strolls out)
Boy : (Continues chanting for a while, then starts crying again)
Passer-by #2: (Enters) What's wrong, little boy ?
Boy : (Sobbing) I lost my lollipop, and I hunted and hunted, then this man told me to chant, and I did, and it didn't work !
Passer-by #2: Chanted ?
Boy : Yeah, like this (Demonstrates, then starts to cry)
Passer-by #2: Don't cry little boy. Maybe we need more help.
Boy : (Turns to audience) You're my only help to get my lollipop back. Everybody, very softly now, chant with me, "Big red yummy lollipop, big red yummy lollipop, big red yummy lollipop." (Gets everyone doing it in unison) Great ! I think it's working, keep going now.
Passer-by #1: (Re-enters) Hi little boy. Did it work ?
Boy : (Loudly) No, it didn't, but I did find a whole lot of suckers !
Short Runway
Number of Participants: 2 (If more are desired, they can be passengers, with suitable sound effects and actions.)
Props: Seating for pilot and co-pilot, and for passengers if required. A compass.
Announcer: This scene is on board a very low budget airline.
Pilot : Well, are we anywhere near the airport, co-pilot ?
Co-Pilot : (peering out the window) I don't know... I see lights over there to the port. That's likely it. Bring 'er around and have a look.
Pilot : (lurching plane hard to the left) Boy, I can't tell. I wish the company would buy us some instruments.
Co-Pilot : (pulling compass from pocket) Oh, I've got my trusty compass and the sun went down about 20 minutes ago, so we've got to be on course. (Excited) Look, see that spot down there, that must be it.
Pilot : Okay, here we go. Give me 20 degrees flaps, I'm going in. (Puts plane into a nose dive, sound effects.)
Pilot : This is going to be tough. Give me more flaps, cut back the engines. (Louder) More flaps, less throttle !
Co-Pilot : (Appropriate actions and sounds, acting panicky.)
Pilot : QUICK, cut the engines, give me brakes. MORE BRAKES !
Both : (Sighs of relief) We're down, we made it !
Pilot : Boy that was a short runway !
Co-Pilot : (Looking right, then left) Yep, and wide too !
A campfire stunt (or skit) is like a small play or comedy piece performed by (usually) the Scouts at the campfire.
This not only serves to break up the songs/ campfire into manageable sections but is simply outrageous fun in its own right. It can also distract the audiences attention whilst the fire is lit (relit?) or something else is being prepared.
I should think that most experienced Scouters know more than a few stunts, but it is always worth collecting them so that scouters can swap ideas and stunts between themselves. Eventually even the most seasoned Scouter may be able to find a few new ones in this section.
A good campfire will have a mix of stunts. Some very short ones (the equivalent of one-liners in stand up comedy) and some of the 'shaggy-dog' variety, long drawn out ones with a punchline at the end, usually at the expense of a member of the audience (a great chance for the scouts to get their own back on the Scouters).
If you have any stunts that you would like to see added to these pages please get in touch with me.
